The first sentence of the real estate marketing materials for today’s house reads “Welcome home to this celebrity owned entertainer’s estate.” Hmmm. Intriguing! Who could it be?
Well, imagine our surprise when we discovered that the current owner is someone the under-a-rock-resident Yolanda had never heard of before: a guy named Richie Kotzen.
Turns out Mr. Kotzen has a pretty impressive curriculum vitae. The hard rock guitarist was a member of glam-metal band Poison in the 1990s and — in addition to his extensive solo career — is also a current member of the bands Mr. Big and The Winery Dogs. So Yolanda should obviously know who he is, right?
Anywho, our own ignorance aside, let’s discuss the property’s new owner. Although the sale has yet to officially close, Yolanda happens to know the house will soon be sold to a 20-year-old Aussie lad named Calum Hood, who happens to be in the bubblegum pop boyband quartet known as 5 Seconds of Summer.
It appears from a brief consult with our BFF — Ms. Wiki Pedia — that 5SOS got their first taste of fame on YouTube sometime around 2011. They then were plucked from behind the computer screens in 2012 to become the opening act for most of One Direction’s phenomenally-successful 2012 Take Me Home tour. That tour made the band internationally famous and led to two #1 US albums and a single with nearly 200 million hits on the YouTube. It seems Mr. Hood himself has generously benefited from his band’s success — he now sports more than 5 million followers on that Instagram silliness.
But we digress. Our Mr. Hood will be paying $1,400,000 for the privilege of occupying the premises. Let’s see what sort of starter house that wad of moolah is buying him.
The 2,150-square-foot house was built in 1959 in a vaguely Traditional style on a .23-acre lot. As is typical of many homes in the tightly-packed Hollywood Hills, the structure sits hard up on the street. Nonetheless, Mr. Kotzen has done a good job of carving out a hard-earned bit of privacy — thanks to a towering hedge and the completely walled-and-gated premises.
Two doors that look as though they were imported from some Mayan ruin (though in actuality they were probably special-ordered from the Pottery Barn in Sherman Oaks) lead right through the hedge to the inner sanctum.
It is abundantly clear that Mr. Kotzen is long gone from the premises and did not feel the need for home staging — rather gutsy and admirable of him, Yolanda thinks.
The listing gushes about how “completely remodeled kitchen, bathrooms, windows, doors and so much more bring luxury to life here.” Okay, sounds good. But no shade, kiddies, we just don’t see it. Maybe we just can’t picture it without furniture or perhaps we’re just jaded from looking at thousands of pictures of $50 million mansions, but we don’t sniff a whiff of luxury up in here.
We do see an abundance of tiles and a double-sided fireplace painted a rather bombastic shade of red. (And why don’t those windows reach the floor?)
At least the master bedroom (we think that’s it up top) sports lustrous wood floors an a closet. Another room has an incongrously-ornate closet setup with inlaid carved wooden doo-dads and ornamentation. Looks like the sort of closet you could walk into and expect to find Narnia!
Somewhere there’s a soundproof recording studio (now you know why Mr. Hood bought this place!) with state-of-the-art wiring and such.
The yard is actually quite spacious (for the Hollywood Hills) and features an almost perfectly rectangular swimming pool and a raised, adjacent spa with a waterfall feature. Also there is a sports/basketball court and a firepit with BBQ. And there’s complete privacy — the entire space is shrouded within towering hedges and mature shade trees.
Mr. Hood’s new ‘hood is in the eastern part of the Hollywood Hills near the Cahuenga Pass. As mentioned, his house is located on a street that seems to be increasing in popularity with celebrity-type folks — some of his neighbors include Oscar-winner Jared Leto, Scandal actor Guillermo Diaz, and — another fella who just bought a house here — street artist Mr. Brainwash.
Richie Kotzen’s agent: Bret Domrose
Calum Hood’s agent: Alex Lobel, Compass